Extreme Makeover: Vespa Edition

The Candidate: A bedraggled, but plucky PK125S. Mottled with rust, and a broken and mangled front fender, rear fender completely missing, a transmission that is worn down flat. She's got guts, starting smoothly after a winter covered in snow, but the transmission problem that plagued her since she came into my life almost a year ago. Good heart, butterface exterior.

The goal? A total makeover.

Well, not exactly.

I talked to the manager of They Who Cannot Be Named on my way home from work on Thursday, to see if he'd told the owner that I want my money back. Yes, and the owner had been "weird" about it. He wasn't sure if it's because there's tension between them right now (manager isn't too sure how long he'll be working there). He started writing down the owner's number so that I could call him directly, and I asked him if the owner had a suggestion to solve the problem if he wasn't crazy about refunding my money (which I'll still demand, if the need arises), and the manager said that this was something he wanted to bring up on the phone but wasn't sure if I'd be receptive since I wanted my money back. But...

The Girl Mechanic has suggested that I might be happy if they put me on another bike. (That's my girl!) Specifically a larger frame, with a bigger engine. I say that the ideal solution is that I walk out of this with a bike. But that it needs to be this season. I look him right in the eye and say that I need to know that my bike is the next on the bench. Bottom line. The work on my scooter starts on Tuesday, and it doesn't stop until it's done. And I ride out with my scooter, this season. Not next year. He blinks, and brings me down to talk to The Girl Mechanic, cause she'll be doing the work. I think I intimidated him, cause I know She has other work lined up and The Scapegoat doesn't. I think he just wanted back up.

We go down and he shows me the type of frame he wants to use - it's a large frame PX125, but they're talking about putting in a 155 engine. Even better. He says he literally has a truck load of the postal frames, so I say, just find the nicest one, and set it up.

We talk to The Girl Mechanic, she says the most time consuming part of the build will be the re-wiring. It's nitpicky work. I ask if they have an suggestion about how long this will all take - they have no idea. They have to get The Scapegoat to do it, and stress that he can't work on his own scooters anymore. If he's up for it, then we're in business. I say that they can talk to The Scapegoat and The Owner and that I'll check in with them on Tuesday for a status report. If everyone agrees that this is the plan, then we move ahead immediately. I figure it can't take them more than a month to do the build - since that's how long it took them to build the two rally bikes. Ah, I love ammo.

So Monday and Tuesday, I'll spend a few minutes writing up a letter outlining that they're building me a new scooter to replace the one I'm handing over, what that entails, and how long they have to accomplish it. I'll have them sign it, and we'll both have copies. At this point, I feel like I need the agreement in writing.

I'm either closer to a resolution, or a little farther away from getting my money back.