"I'm just a simple country doctor..."

Well, it took a few days, but the final show in San Francisco contained some drama. I write this not to criticize, but... well, no but. This is what happened.

Ana and I get back to Shaun and Hans' place early enough so that we can relax and I can grab a shower before the show. There is talk of arriving at the theatre at seven again. I am not into that. There's no real reason to be there that early, as far as I'm concerned. The way I figure, if we're the guests, and we don't have to do any set-up, count any floats, run any scenes, or make any arrangements, then 7:30 is plenty of time to get backstage and get ready. When I worked at Second City, that was your call - 30 minutes to show. That makes sense to me. We compromise and get to the theatre around 7:15-ish.

We get some attitude from a guy that's been hanging around all weekend, I guess a volunteer - you know that joking around "look who showed up" thing. I think it was a joke. It better have been, when you consider what is to follow.

We go backstage and set down our things, Kerry heads to the store to buy drinks. The TFM gang are doing their vocal warm-up and invite us to join them, but we spend the time dealing with tech issues - we're having the TFM's tech, Mark, do our show - and making sure that no toes are stepped on in the process.

Suddenly, 10 to 8, we realize that the audience still hasn't been let in and we're hearing the high pitch whine of a drill, and snapping of wood. Very puzzling. We learn that they are installing/building risers to add more seating. I'm not sure why this is a last minute endeavour, since ticket sales were so hot for that night's show. I'm not telling anyone how to run their festival, but my thinking is that if you know a show is sold out before even factoring in walkup sales, you may want to have someone pop by the theatre a bit early to build seating for them. My only frustration with the festival, the rest was a dream.

It takes a long time to get things sorted out, and we're not exactly in the loop. At about 10 after 8, I ask Mark if he's gotten a call from the stage manager yet - I'm not even sure who's stage managing this evening, actually, much less what the current call is. He laughs, and says no. I laugh back and say, "OK, I'm predicting 10 minutes".

A few minutes later, I pass by our SM backstage, and he tells me ten minutes. I think I scared him when I repeated; Ten? Really? TEN minutes? He says that they're still trying to seat people. I respond that yeah, they've got to get them in.

When the show finally starts, it's after 8:20. We hit the stage and the audience is ready to be entertained. They're in a much better mood than a Toronto audience would have been, I think. Bless their hearts. I greet them with a "Happy Pride!", and say that we appreciate their patience, because we were just trying to get the best looking audience in that we could. (Cheeseball)

We decided to explain our format a teeny bit, because we felt that since the audience doesn't know anything about us, they might not exactly get our 321-longform format. I briefly explain why the lights would be going out for no apparent reason early on, and take the suggestion based on "Something you're proud of" - Hair and Puppets are both given. Just for kicks, we take both.

The show brought together hair dressers, haunted puppets, therapy puppets, and a motivational speaker with homicidal assistants. At one point, Kerry, in trying to explain why he killed, said that he couldn't help it. He sees things he doesn't like, and he just wants to kill them. I take a moment, and ask him if he's related to the Bushes. There is a low "ooooooh", followed promptly by some applause. This was an audience who applauded things in scenes, between scenes, whatever. I keep forgetting how much I like American audiences. Very responsive.

There was a haunted puppet chase - turns out Dave was a haunted marionette, so I had to make him chase Kerry using his "strings" - we all ran around the stage like freaks, to very funny effect.

Another scene that had a lot of mileage was a scene earlier in the evening that had Kerry working with his therapist and talking to a therapy puppet. We tagged out and away from the office into other relationships and circumstances in which he used his puppet to avoid conflict, until I came in as a doctor with bad news. I told the puppet, who in turn freaked out. I reasurred the puppet that he was fine, and that he'd live a long and prosperous life helping people, that I needed his help to break the cancer news to Dave. Dave did exactly what I had hoped for - "I want to tell him". I left the test results for him to use, and shook the puppet's hand, and left Dave to do his magic. What followed was possibley the funniest scene I have seen in a long time. Dave's hand telling Dave that he had cancer and was going to die. Dave freaking out and demanding a second opinion. Dave's OTHER hand being used as the second doctor...

"Well, I'm just a simple country doctor, but I can tell by these test results that you've got the cancer". He then proceeded to use colloquialisms to describe what was happening to Dave's body - hilarious. Best scene of our set.

We finished the show to cheers. It felt really good.

TFM went on to have a wonderful set as well, there was no-where we could sit to watch it, so I spent most of their set backstage, just listening.

After the show, Shaun wanted to know if we wanted to go back to Route 101 for drinks, or if we wanted to try the fancy hotel nearby. No question. Fancy Hotel! We walk over to the Majestic and into their bar for drinks. I asked at the front desk, and the hotel was built in 1902. It's gorgeous. I recommend the place highly, and if you ever want to buy me a present, they sell gift certificates.

http://www.thehotelmajestic.com/index.html

Lookie:

And the lobby:



Here is the Avalon Bar:


We are warned when we arrive that the bartender will serve us all a drink, but then he's going to close up. He's been there all day bartending a wedding, so he's beat. We're cool with that, I think a lot of people would rather spend less on drinks at Route 101. I appreciate the opportunity to be classy for a while first. I order a Majestic Lemon Drop and sip it. Beautiful.

Once we get to Route 101, all bets are off. I drop out down a few social levels, and explain how I don't like pussy, I like cock. An old Tourco riff. We have a raucous good time, and the bartender from the Majestic joins us once he's done closing up his bar. He's a great guy, we talk smart stuff, travel and politics. Once last call has been hollered, he mentions that he has plenty to drink at his place. Dave gives me a look, and later tells me that he was tempted to "get" me by saying that he was tired, and ready to pack it in, but that I'd probably be up for it. Instead, we thank him for his offer, and beg off. We're all tired, and we have to travel the next day. I give the bartender a hug, and he makes an effort to give me his contact information so he can show me around next time I'm in town, but he doesn't have a card. I tell him that we can get in touch through Shaun. I appreciate the interest, but I'm not there right now.

We wait for a cab for a long time, and finally get back to Shaun's. Shaun tried to wait up with Kerry, but ended up having to call it a night. Which was a relief to me, because they were taking up half my bed (couch) and I was trying to sleep at a 90 degree angle beside them with Kerry's arm resting on my hip, and my feet extended out on the coffee table. My feet are falling asleep just as Shaun heads to bed - I figure my body can sleep in shifts the same way I slept in shifts on that big king sized bed in Buffalo.

Once I stretch out, I am fully asleep and wake up just long enough to say goodbye to Kerry as he leaves a couple of hours later.