To the guy who sits a desk away...

Stop humming!

Seriously. You're killing me.

I don't mind people's quirks, and personal habits...

Ok, that's a lie. Yes I do.

But you're humming! YOU ARE HUMMING!

And it's not a nice, Bing Crosby "bah-bah-bah-booooo". No. It's a toneless, random, fucking annoying sound.

And it is killing me. I have nothing to mask the noise. I've tried plugging my ears, but it makes it hard to type. ARGH!!! STOP IT!!

Our department moved locations last year, and we merged our space with the "Discount brokerage" department of the same function. Well, in that merge, we saw the differences between the two platforms. The Discount Brokerage people are younger, more talkative, more sociable, and some of them even have radios at their desk!

We were never allowed radios. I remember trying to listen to a CBC.com news broadcast about something important at my desk on day, and getting a wrist slapped. No music. No news. No distractions!

It struck me as a retarded rule. I work faster when I'm listening to music. I'm happier when I'm listening to music. I don't want to always listen to music, but I resent being told that I can NEVER listen to music. Yeah, I'm petulant. You wanna make something of it?

So when I heard the music from the other side of the half-wall of my cubicle, I was happy and nervous. Happy to hear music, but nervous... waiting for the inevitable clamp down. Ohhhh, those discount brokerage folks are going to get TOLD.

Except that they didn't.

I looked beyond another partition, and saw another guy working in another department, wearing big ol' headphones! Wait - we can even bring accessories? What?

I started looking around for other differences.

Hey, some co-workers in the next building over get to wear jeans ALL THE TIME. Not just on specified, special Fridays. And I bet they don't have to pay a dollar for the privilege. Jerks!

And so while we're being told that we may have to start signing out a washroom key because we're not keeping the bathrooms clean enough, they're over there wearing jeans and playing music. Jerks, jerks, jerks!

I take a day off because of a migrane, and I have to provide a doctor's note stating that I suffer from migranes. Hell, while I'm at it, why don't I just get my mom to write a note that I need a nap at three?

See how cranky some guy's humming makes me?

This is how I know I need to find a new job. Someplace where the only rule is against humming.